My "Career" ~ Aftermath

 

I don't see those people anymore, none of them. I haven't seen them in at least a couple of decades. I even lost contact with those who once were my friends. 

I only returned to my hometown three times, for my parents' funerals and once for a family reunion, so there wasn't a chance to catch up with co-workers, but they'd probably long ago forgotten me anyway. 

The only remnant I carried over into my new life in a new state was that my next boss happened to have worked at my local Acme for a time. It was one of those eerie coincidences. When I got the call for an interview, the HR lady told me I'd be interviewing with (name redacted) and I thought, gee, there's another person with that name? Back then I only knew her by sight. We didn't interact, because she worked in a different department in another area of the building. I did see her a couple of times, because she was friends with my then-supervisor, and she'd stop over to visit her occasionally. My new boss and her best friend had relocated from Philly on a lark; I guess just for a new adventure. They didn't stay more than a year, I don't think. Her friend then became a VP at my new workplace, so that made two people I knew (sort of) from my old life.

As for my old staff, well, time moves on, I suppose. 

Lauren, my number one supe and I tried to maintain our friendship, but distance made that difficult, and eventually we both stopped trying.

Penny and I had a falling out. She'd been my assistant supervisor, the one I told Dave deserved to be promoted, and she finally was. Then she became a supervisor under my lead. We'd been friends for about eight years, not just work friends, but actual friends. That one hurt.

My assistant supervisor, Kristine, eventually married and moved out of state. My other supes went their own ways. They were young and the supe position was but a stepping stone on their way to something better. 

I know that Evil Connie is retired...from wherever she landed after losing her job. I once heard that she worked as a receptionist for a furniture store. She kept her broom. 

Beth, who both Lauren and I took turns apologizing to for our careless email responses, became an author like me. It appears that she does "slice of life" books, and is no doubt more successful than I am.

I'm Facebook friends with my mentor, Carolyn, but it appears she uses Facebook as much as I do (meaning never). She became a widow at a young age. 

Peter, I actually tried to connect with once via Facebook, but he ghosted me. I don't even know why I wanted to connect. We didn't exactly part as friends. Maybe I was feeling wistful for a time that used to be. 

Phil stayed in the health insurance biz and eventually wound up in Florida. Sometimes being useless is all it takes to ascend the corporate ladder, as long as one never rocks the boat.

Dave, the Operations head before Big Corporation took over; Dave, who unknowingly came to my rescue more than once, turns out to be only a few years older than me. Funny, he seemed so much older and wiser at the time. He's currently listed on Google as being involved in finance. No doubt. 

Other people whose names I remember (there were a lot of people and it's been a very long time) are mostly unsearchable 

Time moves on. All those people are old now, or at least old-ish. If a person lives long enough, she sometimes gets to "see into the future", see what became of people she knew in her younger days. Most that I've been able to research are living successful lives that are far different from the people they were then.  

I think about them more than they would ever (I'm sure) think of me. Maybe that's because I was the one who left, and although they didn't stay together as a unit, most of them remained with the company or at least in the same small town, so they didn't have an opportunity to miss each other. 

Plus, all that I wrote about in this series mattered far more to me than to anyone. I began my work life as a lowly clerk, moved on to working in retail after my kids were born; then acquired a (still lowly) clerical job at a hospital, and on and on. I had no delusions of ever accomplishing anything, and my lack of education was a self-imposed barrier. 

For a measly clerk, I was "fine"---dependable, caught on quickly. I endured my share of condescension because I had to. I had to work. So I sucked it up. But even though I knew better than to shoot for something more, I applied for an assistant supervisor position while I was still in training at Acme Insurance, when I knew next to nothing about my new industry. No, I didn't get it, but something had sparked inside me.

Everything I got at Acme was hard fought. Instead of getting fired like Connie had promised to do, I forced myself to kowtow to her and bide my time. By the time the unofficial manager position landed in my lap---I'd earned it. The hard way.   

You bet I had something to prove. 

When the end came, I found myself at loose ends. I knew I couldn't stay at Acme, even though they were prepared to slot me in somewhere. Deep down, I knew I'd be punished if I stayed; punished for my success. They would have made sure they "cut me down to size". Once again my work would have been nitpicked, just like it had in my old clerical days. Acme was mandated to keep me on, but it wasn't precluded from making me miserable enough to quit. So, I beat them to the punch and left. 

The only thing I was certain of was that I never wanted to work in management again.

 

Many years have passed since those career days, and with time, age, and distance, I am able to own certain truths and discard the fallacies.

Here is my list of corporate life lessons:

• Put your head down and work. Career advancement doesn't come easily, and sometimes it doesn't come at all, but for people who are authentic, kissing butt isn't going to work. People like us have to show them we can do the job, whatever that entails. And that we are willing to do the job.

•  Sometimes someone comes along who recognizes your value. Often, you won't even realize that person is observing you. Don't waste time worrying about it. He or she may or may not even exist in your corporate culture, and if they do, you have no control over their opinion. But sometimes, just sometimes, somebody notices something.

•  If you need your job, and most of us do, you might have to swallow your pride at times. If your boss is an arrogant, narcissistic jerk, you may just have to appease him or her, even though every fiber of your being is screaming in pain, and even though your jaw is mightily sore from all the teeth gnashing.

•  If you have been granted authority over others, treat them right.  It seems so simple, and yet so many managers can't grasp the concept. Before you interact with someone in your charge, ask yourself, how would I like to be approached? Approach them like that. Nobody would treat themselves as shabbily as some managers treat their employees. People are not automatons; they're people. 

• If as a leader, you catch somebody doing something right or well or above expectations, tell them! Do you want to be recognized? Of course you do. So does everybody else.

•  Be inclusive. Let people know that you value their opinions, and that you want their feedback. Don't just mouth the words. Mean them.

•  Jealousy is rampant in the corporate world. Those who can't, envy the ones who can.  They will snipe at you behind your back. Accept that it happens, but don't waste time trying to appease them. As long as you obtained your position through legitimate means, you have nothing to apologize or feel bad for.

•  Always, always do your best. The (invisible) contract you signed with your employer comes with certain expectations. The number one expectation is that you will do your job, and they will pay you for doing it. Knock whatever chip you may have on your shoulder right off and understand that you work for them; they don't work for you.

•  Everybody, I mean everybody, is expendable. Sure, the person who takes over from you might not do things exactly the way you did them, but the things are still going to get done. If you are aware of your expendability, you just might adjust your outlook.

• There is no such thing as corporate loyalty. It's a business. Things happen, circumstances change. Your manager is not your mommy. Sure, he or she might feel bad for a day when they have to lay you off, but they'll quickly get over it. Everybody on the corporate ladder is only looking out for their own job. They're insecure. They will do whatever they need to do to stay employed. They may not even agree with what they have to do, but they'll still do it.

• Your job is not your life. Your job is your job. Treat it with the respect that it demands, but have a life! Turn off the company button when you go home at 5:00. Don't live for your job, because your job might disappear tomorrow. Nobody is maintaining a spreadsheet, marking the hours that you spend at home obsessing over your job. Don't give every waking moment over to your company. They really don't care, and meanwhile, you'll have missed out on your life.

• If there are certain injustices that you just can't seem to let go, at least learn from them. Today, years after the fact, the one thing that makes me the angriest (when I think about it, which is rare) is that Peter never gave me the title of "manager", and yet he bestowed it upon the one person who I knew was lucky to even hold a job in any capacity. A person for whom I had to steel my patience to tutor over and over and over again. She hadn't earned it. It was just given to her. It was a slap in the face to me. What I learned from that is, people lie. Peter had told me he "couldn't" promote me to manager. The truth was, he didn't want to, or at the very least he didn't fight for me. I learned that in the corporate world, people will say whatever is most expedient. They don't have to mean it. And one should never take them at their word.

• Life is rarely fair. Sometimes things happen the way they happen. You can choose to let those things cloud your life or you can recognize that your life has value, apart from the titles and the kudos.  

• The other thing I learned? Well, I don't know if I learned it or if I always knew it.  It's simple, but life lessons often are: Trust in yourself.

 

Episodes 

Part 1 ~ My "Career"

Part 2 ~ Evil Bosses

Part 3 ~ Karma

Part 4 ~ Phil

Part 5 ~ Welcome to the I-Land

Part 6 ~ "Who Do You Think You Are?"

Part 7 ~ Another New Boss?

Part 8 ~ "Everything's Great"

Part 9 ~ A Cold Wind

Part 10 ~ Thank You, Goodbye

Part 11 ~ Breaking the News

Part 12 ~ Loose Ends