My "Career" ~ Part 6 ~ "Who Do You Think You Are?"
The IKFI unit was an outcast.
We weren't "Claims", after all, but we shared the same floor as
Claims, albeit with our own entrance that no one from the Claims Department
deigned to use, because that would taint them.
There is an inherent snobbery that exists in any office. A pecking
order. "We're better than (insert department name here)."
We weren't "smart" like Claims. We did data entry. Some
of the Claims supervisors even stopped by from time to time to let me know what
my division was doing wrong, since they, naturally, were the end users. I
didn't have a problem with that; I did have a problem with the way the
feedback was conveyed. The condescension.
Even though I had been a top Claims supervisor before my promotion, I was
no longer part of the clique.
So, IKFI just went its own way.
We kept growing, and growing rapidly. We had to take over more office
footage, because we were running out of room to seat everyone. We still
had that mix of permanent employees and temps, but by this point, it was
understood that a temp position was an audition, really, for permanent
placement. A top performer was guaranteed the opportunity to be hired by
the company, and that word had gotten around.
Our first Halloween rolled around, and we, naturally, were delighted to
participate in the festivities.
You see, at our office, a tradition had been born back in the first year of our
existence. I don't know exactly how it started, but I do know that I was
part of its inception.
We dressed up as a unit, generally, with some type of theme. That sounds
innocuous enough, but what began as a simple dress-up contest with silly
prizes quickly snowballed into an all-out competition. Soon after
that, it was not good enough to simply dress up. A group had to put on a
"skit" of some sort; really wow the crowd...and especially the
judges.
Oh, it became cutthroat.
It started like this:
(me, second from the right)
And progressed to this:
When we were only a five-supervisor group. I'm the short blonde flower child.
And on and on.
Since the IKFI people were considered morons and imbeciles, we decided to do a
"Hee Haw" theme. It was wonderful. We had a lady dressed
up as Minnie Pearl, with the price tag hanging from her hat. We
had all manner of rubes, especially me; we had a woman in her flannel nightgown
and nightcap, ironing at her ironing board. We even had a cow.
That's me in my "cap".
My mentor, Carolyn, and me (I looked lovely!)
Oh, we were all lovely hayseeds.
Unfortunately, we were encroaching, it seems, upon a time-honored tradition;
and when we won grand prize, well, that just capped it.
It was not our fault that the Claims units were lame. They were
timid. We were not. We had no reputation to uphold. We didn't
care.
As time passed and things started to snowball, I was given the green light to
hire additional supervisors. We split into three units! And then we
hired a second shift! Two more supervisors! All total, by the end,
we had over 150 people in IKFI.....from three to one hundred and fifty. In about a year and a half.
The girl who was to become my "main supervisor", Lauren, had started
out as an examiner in one of my Claims units. We found that we shared the
same birthday, so that became a natural bond, a starting point for our
relationship. When the opportunity arose to hire another supervisor, Lauren
applied, and I took her immediately. Lauren was one of those people whom
you feel like you've known all your life, even if you've only known her for a
minute. She had that special touch.
Lauren became situated in a glass-walled supervisor cubicle directly across the floor from me. We could look out and wave to each other, but other
communication required direct face-to-face interaction or a phone call.
By this time, Phil had been "uploaded" to a more responsible position
in Fresno, California, proving that it's not what you know, but who you
know. His replacement was Beth, who'd been moved upstairs from the
Customer Service Department. Beth, in essence, shared manager
responsibilities with blonde-haired, impeccably dressed Linda, who was
persnickety and obsessed with decorum. Linda and Beth elevated their
secretary, Lisa, to the highest level on the office pedestal. Lisa
was, for all intents and purposes, third in line of ascension to the Acme
throne, well above us mere supervisors.
Some supervisors dealt with that insult by cultivating Lisa's friendship. Lauren and I, on the other hand, dealt with it by being snarky at every turn.
One day, Beth sent out a loving email to all the supervisors, informing us that
Lisa had been blessed with additional responsibilities. The email told of
how indispensable Lisa was; what a vital wheel in the organization she had
proven to be.
TIP: If you are going to make snarky remarks about an email
sent by, ostensibly your boss, be sure to hit "forward", and not
"reply".
I don't remember exactly what I said, but it wasn't nice. My intention
was to forward my comments to Lauren across the way; but I, as you have
gathered by now, hit "reply" instead.
You know that moment? When you realize you just made a giant faux
pas? And it's already been done, and now what the hell are you going to
do? Well, I did that. One second after I
"replied" with my remarks, it hit me that I had screwed up, badly.
Damn. Here I go again. Another apology, and I knew I had to deliver it
in person. Downtrodden, I willed my legs to propel themselves forward,
onward to Beth's office. I blindly, instinctively, found a chair to plop
my ass in, and proceeded to praise Lisa to the heavens. I mumbled
something about how I was "just kidding around", and how I was profusely
sorry for my indiscretion, and that, trust me, it would never happen
again.
Beth was, to her credit, pretty nice about it. She kind of waved me off;
said, don't worry about it. She was most likely as uncomfortable, there,
in her office, having this conversation, as I was.
But, as my luck would go, it didn't end there. Just a few short months
later, my number one supervisor, Lauren, committed the exact same sin as
I had. Another glowing email; another snarky comment; another
"reply", rather than "forward".
Lauren was cool about it, though. She blithely trudged into Beth's office
(I bet Beth was getting weary of this drill by now), spilled out her requisite
apology, and, as icing on the cake, said, "I guess I pulled a
'Shelly'".
Thanks, pal! Now I was famously infamous. Any stupid, asinine
mistake would henceforth be referred to as, "pulling a
'Shelly'".
Even though Lauren blatantly threw me under the bus, I couldn't not stay
friends with her.
Plus, I guess, one way to look at it was, we were in this thing together. We made the same mistakes, we made the same right decisions. We were a
natural team.
And thus, IKFI continued to do things that annoyed the heck out of
everyone.
Overtime was a way of life at our company. If there was ever a stretch
when overtime was not mandatory, people began to quake. They started
wondering what was wrong. Thankfully for most, those periods only ever
happened for a week or two, and then things returned to
"normal". Frankly, the staff had begun to depend on their
overtime pay, and they were adrift without it.
On Saturdays, we, like everyone else, had OT. But we did things a bit
differently in our department. We had a (remote!) manager who gave us a
budget to buy prizes, so the supes would go out shopping and buy as many nice
things as we could with the dollars we were given.
Then on Saturday, every half hour or so, we would draw a name out of the hat
(literally, a hat), blow a god-awful sounding horn, and bestow a prize
upon some lucky individual, and of course, have our picture taken with the
winner; all of us supes wearing our very special hats.........Yes, it was
"hat day".
Supervisor Tracy on "Hat Day"
I can say without hesitation that we had fun. And yet, we never shirked
our work. We posted great stats; both quality and production. I
believe it was because our people liked their jobs.
Who else had Elvis show up for my supe Penny's birthday? Nobody, of
course. And if anyone had even thought of it, would they think to corral
an actual employee to play Elvis No. They would have hired
one of those impersonators. And that would have stripped the occasion of
all the fun (thanks, Rob!)
Elvis (Rob) and Penny
And on Penny's next birthday, who would have thought to have President Clinton stop by Nobody. Who would have written a very special speech for the President to deliver to Penny? Nobody. (Thanks, Rob, again, for portraying the President!)
President Clinton (Rob) and Secret Service Agent, Lauren
Shortly after the "hat days", the baton was passed back in
Philly, to a new manager; a new overseer of the IKFI Department.
A new, young up-and-comer. Out to prove himself, with our division as the
catalyst.
His name was Peter.
To be continued..........
Next up...Another New Boss?
Prior Episodes
Part 5 ~ Welcome to the I-Land

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