Your Blurb is Too Long

To be clear, I am not expecting any more sales of my novel, especially now that I'm done with promotion (not that I sold many when I was promoting). And organic discovery isn't a thing.

But I find nothing wrong with tidying things up a bit. My 1,000th iteration of my blurb was unsatisfying. It was too long and too meandering. The common rule of thumb is that a blurb shouldn't exceed 300 words, and Jessie Cunniffe only recommends 150-200. 

Both of these standards are too long. I'll die on this hill.

I, in fact, have a blurb for one of my novellas that consists of 50 words, and it's perfect:

In a backwoods town, finding your boss’s dead body in the woods is enough to get you charged with murder. Worse, Ashley Montrose is saddled with the most incompetent attorney in the county. She only has herself and a man she loathes to find a way out of this mess.  

What more is there to say? Does a book browser need to know what Ashley's occupation is?* Where she lives? 

*If the MC's occupation is important to the story, add it (e.g., "private detective Luke Calderon..."). That's only two extra words. 

This blurb has the MC's name, the inciting incident, and the stakes. No call to action, but come on. What do you think I want people to do? Admire the book cover? 

I argued with AI yesterday about its new suggestion for my novel's blurb. AI loves to throw in all the tropes and too many needless story digressions, while substituting fancy words for ones that are already concise. My initial response to it was, "No one is going to read all that." 

"You're right. Sorry."

(Oh, stop kissing my ass, AI.)

"Online book shoppers mostly skim a book's blurb instead of reading every word. They look for specific quick clues like genre, main plot points, and famous review quotes to decide if they want to buy the book." 

(I disagree with the famous review quotes, by the way. Just stick to the story.)

Once I finally started heeding my own wise counsel, I found that revising my blurb was relatively easy.  

One of Morgan Clasper's nuggets of advice distills the process down:

1. An opening paragraph that introduces the character, what he/she wants, and the inciting incident.

2. The obstacle.

3. Escalate the tension.

4. The call to action.

He doesn't throw in "include lots of back story". Because no one cares about it. Why did Leah quit her band? What's the difference? She quit. Now move on. You can find out when you read the book. That's why a blurb is a blurb and a story is a story.

We authors overthink things, and we follow the lead, no matter how many dark alleys it leads us down. "Well, all book blurbs are long! Just take a look at Amazon!"

Yes, they're too long. Considering my own browsing habits, I might even do away with an opening statement. Jessie Cunniffe advises starting with a question, as long as it's a universal one (and it needs to be italicized and bolded). One can look at that opening as basically an overview or a signal to the story's theme. It's not bad or wrong. My new version includes an opening statement (not a question), because I feel the blurb benefits from having one. If your opening statement is hooky, do it. If it's meh, would simply getting straight to the heart of the story be better?

I've seen too many blurbs (almost all of them) that go on and on and on. The traditionally published books, granted, use up a lot of space including glowing reviews, but even without those they practically give away the entire story. I've got glowing reviews, too, but I'm not ready to include any of them in my blurb (at least not yet). It's like saying, "See? Other people love this book! Buy it! What's wrong with you?" As a potential buyer, I hate being manipulated. I can make up my own mind. If I want to know what readers thought in general, I'll take a peek at the reviews, not just the cherry-picked ones you chose to include.

I'm not telling you how to write your blurb. I am saying that you need to avoid confusing potential readers at all costs. Too much back story, too many character names, including events that have little bearing on the story. (I kept including Leah's failed romance, since that was the catalyst for her accepting the record offer, but does it matter why she accepted? I even named the guy, even though he only shows up once more in the entire course of the story). 

So, how's my new blurb look?

Leah Branch is one humiliating assignment away from burning down her music career.

After her singing dream dies, Leah hits the road to start over. Then a surprise record deal lands in her lap. But the label wants to mold her into a manufactured product, changing her look, her songs, and even her name.

Finally, they force her to swallow one demoralizing demand too many.

Caught between fame and her own soul, Leah makes a drastic move.

From a peaceful small-town existence to the heady, confusing world of corporate music, Running From Herself proves there are second and even third chances. All Leah has to do is find the courage to grab them.

 

(The CTA isn't exactly a CTA, but "Buy my book!" felt too cheesy. I chose instead to signal that Leah finds redemption in the end...so stay tuned! 😏) 

Final word count = 113. I like that.

I feel like a heavy (and I do mean heavy) burden has been lifted from my shoulders.