Sometimes We Worry Too Much About Tangential Things

A blurb writer whose mailing list I subscribe to has begun offering an author bio course. I do admire her ingenuity; she consistently offers new services, just like a good businesswoman should.

While I understand that as self-published authors, we tend to over-obsess, especially me with a lot of free time on my hands, are we simply doing "tasks" that hardly matter? Often, it feels like I need to be doing something, as if doing something will help further my career. I need to be more judicious in choosing those "somethings". 

When I was redesigning my author site, I found some great examples of real author websites that were nicely done, and I admit that I cribbed a lot from a couple of them. One aspect I mimicked was the bio section. I liked how one author laid hers out--a combination of publishing relevance and personalization. I'm a fan of relatability, and while I'll never read this particular author's books (she writes children's books), reading her bio felt like meeting a real person. 

All authors need to come up with a bio. A bio is necessary and often required for some promo sites, but it's primarily important for Amazon (I suppose), because when a potential reader lands on your product page, he or she might be interested enough to want to learn something about you. Plus, if your website doesn't include a bio, people might start to wonder what you're hiding.

But do we really need to take a course for that? Advice can be gotten for free. A quick Google AI search laid out the components for me. I don't necessarily agree with all it presented, but it is a rudimentary guide.

First, it states that a bio should be short, under 150 words. That's true for a lot of promo sites, but it certainly can be expanded for one's own website. (So, in essence, an author might need both a condensed version and a longer one.)  

"First strong sentence: State your name and your primary claim to fame, award, or status as a debut author."  

Mmm, a lot of us have no claim to fame or any awards, and I, at least, am not exactly a debut author.

"Light personal touch: Add a quick, relatable fact, such as where you live or a harmless hobby, to show your personality." 

Personally, I would start with the personal touch. Nobody cares about awards, even if you've won some, unless it's a Pulitzer or a similarly prestigious one, and probably not even then.

"Call to action: Tell readers where they can find your website or your latest project." 

You're on my website. That's where you find it! Okay, I know this statement is meant for places besides the author site, so sure. I included my website in my Author Central bio, which, by the way, doesn't allow links, so I had to spell it out (april tompkins dot net).

"Match the tone: Keep the mood of the bio aligned with your book's genre (funny for comedy, professional for business)." 

So, because I write women's fiction, my bio should be dramatic and weepy? Might be fun to do as a lark, but not really applicable.

Here is an example AI provided for me as a women's fiction writer:

"[Name] is an author of women’s fiction centered on the complex relationships and pivotal turning points that shape women's lives. Her storytelling is deeply informed by her own personal journey, allowing her to bring a profound sense of truth, empathy, and authenticity to every page. She lives in [City/State] with her [family/pets], where she is currently working on her next novel. Connect with her online at [Website]."

Oh, my God! This is why one should never let AI try to write. And whatever you do, don't encourage it!

"deeply informed, profound sense of truth, authenticity, empathy"

Zzzzz....I couldn't even make it through the first sentence. I'm never buying this author's books. I hate social worker-speak.

I went about composing my bio by coming up with a few personal facts and then attempting to turn those words into a paragraph that didn't lull people to sleep. The original iteration went on far too long, but as you know, we do love talking about ourselves, so I made a concerted effort to condense it.

April Tompkins is a professional daydreamer, author, and musician who has been spinning tales since she was a kid roaming rural Minnesota farm roads. A former North Dakota prairie girl, she now writes contemporary fiction about complex characters that take a little coaxing to reveal their true stories. She is the author of thirteen books, including the hit Running From Herself, and is a singer-songwriter with thousands of Spotify streams. She lives in Minnesota with her husband and her delightfully chunky cat, Sasha. 

Note: April Tompkins is a pen name, but every other detail in her life is perfectly real. You can connect with her and find her books at www.apriltompkins.net.

It's far from perfect. But does it need to be? (FYI, Running From Herself is not a hit, but if we can't puff ourselves up, who will? It's kind of the FOMO principle--nobody wants to miss out on a hit.)

That's my "official biography". Again, cribbing from another author's site, I also included a personal one written in first person. Then I added "Ten Things You Don't Know About Me" and a "Q&A" section.

Honestly, no one visits my website, but I wanted it to be something I like, something I'm not embarrassed by. Here's my bio page. 

If you like staying busy while you wait for sales to roll in, you can do something like this, too, but a bio isn't all that important. Just make sure you spell all the words right, so you don't look like an imbecile. Don't ignore some personal tidbits, even if you write under a pen name, like I do. My life is wholly uninteresting, but I didn't let that stop me. I'm not gonna lie, though. The only white lie in my bio is about my novel being a hit, but it could happen sometime in the future. 😏 A writer should be more than capable of making the mundane sound interesting.

But unless your book becomes a hit like Running From Herself, hardly anyone will be interested enough to even scan your biography.*

*If you write non-fiction, your bio has to show that you're qualified to write about your topic. That's where potential readers will care, or should. If you're going to tell me how to improve my life in some way, how do I know you're not just another scammer? Or that your book wasn't written by AI?

I've got a long list of tasks we authors do that produce zero return. Trust me, I've done pretty much all of them, so I know. If you have a busy life (unlike me), I'm hoping to save you some valuable time as I detail these worthless tasks in future posts.