Well, I've Been Doing It All Wrong

Look, I'm frustrated.

I wrote what I consider to be a damn fine novel, but nobody cares. Well, I guess 18 people cared, but eighteen reviews/ratings don't exactly drive sales. I haven't had a sale or any Kindle Unlimited reads since May 31, and those weren't "sales", per se, but free downloads (all four of them). 

I'm sick and tired of reading Reddit posts with newly published authors whining that they only got 8,000 sales their first month. Are you freakin' kidding me?  

I'm never going to write another book; this one is it. I still may revise my third novel and republish it, but while it's decent, it won't come close to matching the quality of Running From Herself. 

So, I turned to AI for comfort.

Google's AI does make mistakes, but you get out of it what you put into it. I've been guilty of omitting pertinent facts, which I've needed to correct, but once I clarify, AI becomes a wise friend who's infinitely patient.

Tonight I asked it, "Is my storyline too niche?" AI assured me that, no, it's actually just right for women's fiction. (I'm not entirely convinced, but okay.) Then it drilled down. Its main focus was blurb, keywords, and cover image, which we all know is true; but my first problem, according to it, is my blurb. Again. I swear I've done ten different versions of my blurb, yet none of them did the trick. 

AI pointed out that I needed to ditch the failed romance phrase (one phrase, not even a whole sentence) and focus on the evils of the music business. But I pointed out that the first 1/4 of the story doesn't involve the music business at all, but tells the story of Leah's small-town life. I told it I don't want to mislead readers. It assured me that women's fiction readers, to paraphrase, like learning about the MC before the turning point happens. (Again, I have no idea if that's true, because I don't read women's fiction, but it was reassuring.)

The story had a weird genesis that created this problem. Had I simply begun with the theme of the main character landing a record deal and hating it, my marketing would have been simpler. But the story would have been worse. The novella from which the novel sprang wasn't about the music business at all. In fact, Leah never leaves Chance, Wyoming. (Yes, it was terrible and boring.)

AI rewrote my blurb for me, but it reads like...well, AI, and I told it so. I sensed that I hurt its feelings. I mean, nobody likes to be criticized. But it brushed it off and tried again. Honestly, our session produced so much content that all I did was copy and paste everything into a doc, so I haven't done more than skim the revised version.

Then it moved on to keywords, asking what mine were. I clearly informed it that the longtail keywords had been its invention, but it ignored that and told me my keywords were wrong. (Come on, dude!) I agree that the new ones are better, but couldn't it have given them to me the first time around?

Next, my categories. Now, here's where I had to correct AI. It wanted me to ask KDP to manually assign certain categories, but I informed it that KDP doesn't do that anymore. "Oops, you're right." Yes, I know. At least maybe I saved it from giving another author the same bad advice. It then gave me three specific (mostly) new categories to try.  

As far as the cover, I stressed that it's non-negotiable. I'm not commissioning a new cover because I like mine and besides, I can't afford a new one. AI told me, after I described it, that it was perfect anyway and that I don't have to worry that it's not genre-conforming. Note: I've researched other women's fiction books. They're not at all like mine. They're mainly line drawings with block text. I don't care. The cover stands out and it's pretty. And it conveys the theme. Maybe all the other authors are wrong and I'm right.

Some tangential topics AI went on to discuss: contacting libraries, specifically in Wyoming and Nashville. I do have library distribution for my paperback through D2D, but I'm skeptical about this instruction. First of all, Chance is a completely made-up town and I have no idea how geographically correct I got it. I did try, to an extent. And as for Nashville, those poor librarians must get hit up by every author of a music-related novel in the country. My chances there are slim.

As for promotion, it wants me to try Bargain Booksy, The Fussy Librarian, and BookGorilla/Kindle Nation Daily (are those two places the same?) in order to emphasize Kindle Unlimited. I had BookGorilla on my promotions spreadsheet, but for some reason I never tried it. There must have been a reason. I should probably check that out.

Then it talked about group promos through StoryOrigin. I'm not big on group "anything" and it appears that most of these promos are newsletter driven, which is another no-go for me. Maybe I'll look into it further at some point. 

It also advised me to use my five free KDP promotion days:

"When your book hits #1 on a Free Bestseller list, it gains massive visibility. When the free days end and your book returns to $2.99, thousands of regular KU subscribers will see it trending on the charts and download it through Kindle Unlimited. You will get a massive wave of page-read payouts in the weeks following the free promo." 

Yea, no. I didn't say AI was perfect. And please don't use the word "massive" in conjunction with my book, unless you add "failure". As I noted above, the last time I did a free day, I got four downloads.

One more thing: It wants me to revise my ebook's call to action. Really, I can take that suggestion or leave it. Sure, I ask for a review at the end, but someone would actually need to read the book in order to leave a review. 

To sum up:

1. My blurb is all wrong.

2. My keywords are completely wrong. 

3. My categories are wrong.

3. My cover is "fine". 

Do I cast caution to the wind and adopt everything AI told me to do? Well, how have sales worked out for me so far? 

Most people would tell me to just give up.

...but I don't know. What would it hurt to try something new? Granted, I can't test out my changes until I somehow come into some extra $$, but I've never been a quitter. So, if my book just sits there and does nothing, how is that any different from now?

 

I don't know how this gif applies to my situation, but it does...somehow.