Environmental Paper

I'm always on the lookout for enhancements offered by KDP. Thus, the (AI) foreign language translations of my novel.

Now I see it's offering "groundwood paper". Ooh! 

What is groundwood paper, you ask? Why, it's a lower carbon option with 15% fewer CO2-equivalent emissions. And, to make the deal even sweeter, if I go with groundwood paper for my paperback, I can save 15 cents on printing costs! Both saving the planet and putting an extra fifteen cents in my pocket! 

So...let me get this straight. When a young Jeff Bezos was selling books out of his garage, it was all, "Money, baby! That's what I want!" 

Now that his net worth is estimated to be between $278 and $290 billion, he cares. He really, really cares.

 

 (Actually, no one does.)

 

I believe that's called first world problems. Funny how gazillionaires suddenly become so socially conscious. 

 

But, wait! Jeff cares about us, too. After all, the carrot he's offering self-published authors is a whole fifteen cents! 

 

According to KDP's FAQ's, "Because of its higher opacity and textured feel, it makes pages easier to read and turn." I, for one, know how nearly impossible it's been for me to turn the pages of a book. I've often given up completely out of frustration. And since I left my office job, I no longer have the ability to steal:

 

 

...which is a bummer. I also can't steal paper clips and pens. And sticky notes. Know how expensive those things can be? But I digress...

 

Seeing as how my "ideal reader" isn't exactly a save-the-planet buff, because she/he has lived long enough to know that the planet is the same, in fact better than it was sixty to seventy years ago, I'm foregoing the groundwood paper option. 

 

But thanks, Jeff, for your...do-goodedness. Now back to your 417-foot yacht, you crazy kid!

 

"Jeff Bezos' 417-foot superyacht, Koru, produces an estimated 7,000 to 7,154 tons of greenhouse gases annually."