Discarding Old Assumptions

Part of it is due to my upbringing, part of it is because I spent my life in the corporate world, but I've always viewed appreciation as a given. Reciprocity, too. If someone does something nice for me, I find a way to return the favor. In fact, I wrack my brain to come up with a proper token of gratitude.

Face it; I'm old and out of touch. Not good traits to have as an author. I've thought about that in connection with my books, too. While my protagonists are all women in their mid-thirties, maybe they have some old fashioned notions, such as politeness. That's a dead giveaway the book was written by an old person! No wonder my ideal reader is on the verge of filing for Social Security.

I'm also not discounting my Midwestern influences. I'm not a native Minnesotan; not really. I spent the first eleven years of my life in Minnesota before my parents moved, and now I've been back for a couple of decades. There's a term, "Minnesota nice", which isn't actually true, but "Minnesota polite" is a given. In other words, Minnesotans are endlessly courteous to your face, but they'll talk about you the minute you turn your back. Regardless, all Upper Midwesterners fundamentally act appreciative to a fault.

There does come a point, however, when one realizes they're being a chump. I try to give kudos to any self-published author when the situation presents itself. No, I'm probably not going to read their book, but that's more about my preferences and reading habits than anything to do with their book in particular. But any author who puts themselves out there deserves a pat on the back. I know how hard it is to (first) write a novel and (second) to expose your work to the world. Like me, they rarely get any responses to their posts.

Now that I'm wading back into Substack, I've subscribed to the Substack sub on Reddit, and when someone posts about just starting their Substack account, I respond affirmatively. I even ask for their Substack address, so I can subscribe.

🦗🦗🦗🦗 (<--- These are supposedly crickets.)

Perhaps it's generational. Even though basic manners should be universal, maybe they're not? Is it entitlement? It's really impossible to wrap my head around, because disregarding a compliment is so foreign to me. I can count on one or two fingers the number of times a favor (in the book world) has been returned, and that makes a person cynical. I don't want to be cynical.

For the record, while I don't know a way to return these favors, my gratitude is immense:

1. A person who found this blog and not only bought my novel, but wrote a too-complimentary review. I was wowed by that.

2. My one super-fan who's been endlessly supportive of my work, even when I imposed on her to ARC-read Running From Herself. (I wanted to send her a copy of my published book as a thank you, but international limitations prohibited me.)*

*UPDATE: I figured out how to do it. 

I don't offer my support to those occasional social media posters with the intent of getting something in return. It's just what people should do, so I'm not going to stop. But their lack of acknowledgement is noted. "Well, you should just know." How?

I may end up with a bunch of Substack subscriptions that are either enjoyable or duds. But subscribing costs me nothing. Yesterday, after taking a look at my Substack overlap (accounts people read in addition to mine), I not only subscribed to them, but recommended them.

You're welcome.