Well, This Isn't Working (My Substack Experiment)

I wasn't going to be a quitter, but Substack is not working out for me. Yes, it's early, but there are telltale signs, such as no one reading, much less commenting on my posts. (And I do have subscribers---a few.) No one's buying what I'm selling. I haven't churned out slop. I've gone through this blog and found past posts that were well written, which required me to reject a lot of my posts. Also, many of my blog posts are specifically tailored to my readership, and no one else would even know what I'm talking about. Still, I've managed to isolate the worthy ones.

It doesn't matter.

Obviously, my writing style doesn't resonate with Substack's audience. Am I really old (yes) and out of touch? I don't think I'm out of touch. I can certainly relate to many of the Substack notes posted by fellow writers. I didn't think writing had an "age", but maybe it does. Maybe I'm not using enough modern lingo. Or maybe I'm just boring.

Hey, that's okay! I hate posting Substack articles with a passion. I've had to force myself to do it, and once I do, I quickly click out of the app in case someone reads my post and I'm embarrassed. The whole exercise is humiliating to me. 

To like my writing, or to even relate to it, a reader has to know me, know who I am. That's impossible with the app. I'm not even sure I want people to know me. Would be nice if one of them talked to me now and then, though. 

The only "success" I've had is when I reply to someone's note. I at least usually get a response, because all Substackers know that they need to engage, even with the boring replies.

I can't keep doing this. It's too mortifying. 

Yep, once again I'm moving on. I have my memorygram to complete and I still have a novel to revise. I've got plenty to do. Plenty that won't make me feel like a fool. I have my eight-part story that I once thought would make a good Substack series, until I remembered once again that I'm old and out of touch.

Of all the articles I've posted on the app, none have garnered even a 💓, much less a comment. Nor have my notes (except for my responses to other people's stuff). I'm sure they just want me to subscribe, but I'd kind of like subscriptions, too.

And while I'm talking about notes, what's up with all the "let me hear from accounts with under 100 subscribers"? There are tons of those, which makes me wonder what the grift is, because there has to be one. At first I replied to a couple of them, but I stopped. It must be engagement farming, and I'm not on Substack to fertilize somebody else's field. 

Of course, my nature is to assume that I'm the only failure, but I bet there are hundreds of accounts that get nothing---no feedback and only a handful of subscriptions. I wonder if those people keep hanging in there. That's just not me. I know pretty quickly when something's not working, and I stop wasting my time on it.

Gotta love the advice that comes with everything publishing-related: "It's a long game." Sure, fine. How long? Do those advice givers mean someone like me, whose efforts produce no building blocks, not even a pouring of the foundation? One has to have some incentive before they agree to play that long game, and I don't have the time.

I can't even begin to explain how exposing myself to the world makes my stomach tighten. Only to finally force myself to do it and find that I'm rejected, just like I thought I would be. Was the stress worth it? Nope. I'm fine, in fact I'm ecstatic that I publish under a pen name. Make fun of me all you want, you're not actually making fun of me, but an alternate me. Alternate Me can handle it. Real Me can't---couldn't. At least I recognize my limitations.

If I decide to continue on Substack as a reader, I'll need to find some accounts that aren't about writing. I'll take music, art, photography, you name it. At least those would be interesting. Now all I get in my timeline is other writers. You know, I've found that they all say the same things, and those things aren't all that interesting, especially the fiftieth time I've seen them.

If I ever run across another old blog post that passes muster, it's not inconceivable that I'll post it as an article. I'd rather be a "withdrawer" than a complete quitter. I don't respect quitting. But as for my really good stuff, nah. Those silent people on Substack don't deserve my really good stuff.