The Latest Trend in Author Advice: Therapy

 

There's a strange dichotomy I've observed lately. I (unfortunately) live right outside the city that's all over the news right now, and all the action videos are impossible to avoid. I'm not here to take sides, just to relate what I'm seeing. There sure are a lot of angry, combative women out there. And please stop with the screaming! It's assaulting my ears! The whistles are bad enough! 

I don't know; maybe it's a good thing that women are now more assertive, but this begs the question: Why is all the advice for women authors so touchy-feely? You don't get to have it both ways.

I subscribe to posts from The Fussy Librarian. It generally sends emails a couple of times a week with links to relevant articles, some pertaining to marketing, some to writing and the writing mindset. I've never needed advice on how to get into the mindset of writing---I plop myself in front of my computer and type. Sure, I've often not felt like doing that, but being on a schedule, I forced myself to do it.

"But writing as a woman is hard! I have all these emotions!"

Oh, suck it up! An author is supposed to have emotions, unless they're writing an instruction manual, in which case emotion should be avoided. "Now find the Allen wrench inside the enclosed accessory bag. It's okay to cry if you don't know what an Allen wrench is. Everybody cries sometimes. Now, Step 2..."

(Of course, the above is written in Chinese, which is but one more reason to burst into tears.) 

Here's the description of one of the linked articles: "A coping mechanism for the writer (or any human hurting right now) and a way to probe your character's deepest emotions."

I've had to do a lot of things as a writer. Thinking, most commonly; but also strategizing and sequencing, brainstorming, pivoting. One thing I've never had to do was cope. (That happened during the marketing phase.) If I had to "cope" with writing, I wouldn't write. Writing's not supposed to be some kind of penance. 

Another article is described as, "How writers can break free of people-pleasing".  By "writers", everyone knows the author means "women". How many men are ever described as people pleasers? The crux of the article is that writers (women) need to stop writing what they think readers want. Now, I agree with this sentiment, but I disagree that it's gender specific. And, as a matter of fact, many independent authors are quite successful writing tropes that people want to read. Those aren't people pleasers; they're savvy marketers. Unlike me. Why are romance novels so popular? (Seriously, why?) Because readers know what to expect. They want to be "pleased". 

While I may have debated over a particular scene in one of my books or a specific line of dialogue; questioned whether a (hypothetical) reader would be on board with it, in the end I stayed true to the story I wanted to write. Is the people pleasing gene the reason that so many women authors specialize in romance? I don't need a therapist to tell me that I go out of my way to not offend people in day-to-day situations. That's not a flaw; it's smart. But writing is supposed to be a creative outlet, a place where we can let our hair down.

Bottom line, I don't need hand-holding as a writer. I don't need anyone telling me it's okay to write what I want. Writing shouldn't require psychoanalysis.  

I find it insulting when an expert talks down to me or assumes I'm so fragile, I need their permission to write honest fiction. If I ran into a woman who whined, "I want to write, but I just don't know!" while she wrung her hands, I'd tell her, don't bother. Watch Oprah specials instead. It's not worth the trauma.