Worth Rescuing?

I never go back and re-read my older books. I read them too many times in the editing phase, and that was quite enough. Also, re-reading them would be bad for my psychic health. I will never be satisfied with any of them, and who needs that stress? It's not as if I'll re-read one, then go back and start revising it. 

Which brings me to the novel formerly known as The Apple. In my post on library searches yesterday, I noted that somehow two of my novels exist on the Overdrive app--one that I've since unpublished and The Apple, which is no longer titled The Apple, and thus is unable to be borrowed (because it leads to a dead link). The preview is still there, though, and out of morbid curiosity, I read it. Inexplicably, the preview started at Chapter 20, then continued to the end. This is just weird. Amazon's previews start (naturally) at the beginning, and they sure don't include that much material. 

But starting with later scenes, I was fascinated. Yes, some of my word choices weren't ideal, but those scenes were really good, overall. Even more fun was that I'd forgotten them. I found myself wondering what the story was behind Aubrey's post office box; then I sort of remembered, but not the specific details. "This is pretty intriguing," I said to myself.

Then the thought flashed in my mind: What if I revised the book?

I'd "sort of" revised it once, when I changed the POV to first person and then retitled it. But I didn't mess with the story at all. Would it be worth taking another shot at the manuscript?

I think the answer is no. That's because while the closing chapters are excellent, there's a whole lot of crap that came before them. 

The Apple was my third novel. The first one was "okay", the second one reeked (which is why I eventually unpublished it). I still had the dream of landing an agent--a faint dream, after being rejected with the first two--and by the time I began writing The Apple, I had more confidence in my abilities. That confidence was misplaced. A lot of the story is good, and it involved a more serious topic than the inevitable murder mystery. Aubrey is the administrator of a memory care home, and her interactions with the residents brings up some metaphysical questions that I handled well...and deeply. If only that subplot wasn't surrounded by boring filler. 

I was still following the rules about how to write a novel. It needs (absolutely!) a subplot. No. It doesn't. I added one. This would have been acceptable, had I not been straining to reach the prescribed word count. Oh, my God. The story meandered here and there, and with at least four family members whose stories collided, I s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d. I think Aubrey's relationship with her boyfriend was the most boring. Too many flashbacks and too much needless detail. 

And, oh, my--all that dialogue! Don't get me wrong; one of my talents is writing dialogue, but I leaned on it far too much in this story. Conversations that went on and on, needlessly.  

The two good aspects of the story were: a) Aubrey's secret life of crime; and b) her interactions with her patients. Looking back, the main plot (her dad's murder) should have been the subplot.  

This is what often comes from zero planning. I still don't believe in outlining, but had I done that, the important aspects of the story might have jumped out at me. If I was to revise it, it would be like writing a completely new novel, and you know how I feel about that. I don't have the energy (never mind the desire) to do it.

It would involve taking the whole thing apart and piecing together the best aspects of it, which would leave holes that still needed to be filled. I do know that if I hit upon the initial idea now, I'd write a much, much better novel. Because now I know how to do it.

Plus, if I was to do it, I couldn't work from the original manuscript. I've tried that with another book, and all I accomplished was adding a sentence here and there, instead of changing all the things that screamed for change. It was entirely self-defeating.

My back catalog is, sadly, barren. I currently have three full novels and eight novellas. Nobody wants novellas--did I mention that? My flirting with revising that second novel resulted from wanting something more substantial to point to for all my years of work. I don't hate my novellas (at least most of them), but no one takes novellas seriously, no matter how good they are or especially how much work went into them. 

If after a while, I feel strongly about this book, I might take a stab at it. Not likely, but it could happen. 

But I did write a few great paragraphs. Shame to waste them.