I'm Still Here

Readers of this blog can always anticipate a daily post from me. To be honest, I like to write something every day in order to maintain my writing chops, since I'm obviously no longer writing fiction. But it seems I've missed a couple of days, and that's becauzzzz..... 

That's right; I have nothing to blog about. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is happening, bookwise. My novel's been stuck at one sale for the entire month and my Kindle Unlimited reads are, well, limited. No one has read a single page since October 7. I've gotten no new reviews on Amazon nor on Goodreads, but seven people are still "currently reading" Running From Herself. Sure.

So, this is what it's like when a book dies.

I can report that Google is now trolling me with congratulatory emails:

Congrats on reaching 5 clicks in 28 days!

 

Wow! Five clicks in 28 days! Thanks, Google, for the kudos! Of course, Google also wants me to list my products on its Search Shopping tab, so they have an ulterior motive in "flattering" me, but I have no idea how to do that, since I don't sell directly from my site. And I'm not eager to enter the swirling maze of trying to figure it out.

As for reworking my blurb, nope, haven't done it or attempted to do it yet. I get daily emails from Jessie Cunniffe (Book Blurb Magic), a very nice person, and I take her tips to heart, but the job seems insurmountable from where I sit, and it's quite possible a new blurb could make things even worse. Although I don't see how it could be any worse. She requires her paying clients to write a synopsis, and I do understand the purpose--identifying themes and drilling down to what's important--but I'd truly, truly hate to undertake that, especially since I'm not a paying client and therefore would only be doing it to "help" myself rework my blurb. If I tried to summarize all forty (!) chapters into one paragraph each, I'd go insane. First of all, I don't remember, and secondly, I'm not going to re-read my book in order to jog my memory. 

I did grab her freebie, Blurb Troubleshooting 101, but it's still unopened. What I do know right now is that my blurb is FAR too long. An ideal blurb should only be 150-180 words (max), and boy, did I overshoot! That's what I get from reading blurbs of trade-published novels. They go on and on and on, and I figured that was the way to do it. Jessie says that most trade blurbs are terrible and that the publishing houses don't have dedicated blurb writers, so they basically farm the job out to, I don't know--interns? And here I was, trusting that these people were experts. That's what I get for trusting.

One of Jessie's emails asked her subscribers something along the lines of, do we have anything in common? And since she expressed that she reads her replies, I spilled the fact that I'm in a band with my husband. (She's also a musician.) Well, she responded, asking about our band and I sent her the Spotify link. Did I mention how personable she is? She ropes people in and makes them feel like they're having an actual conversation. After I sent the link, I was embarrassed. I do know that she's not really interested, and I hate coming across as needy for attention. In fact, I never publicize my music, ever. What's music got to do with my fiction writing? Anyway, she was nice about it, and said she'd "have to listen". No, no, you don't have to. That's okay. I mean, you don't have to say that; I already know you won't listen. She's still quite nice, though. If you've got $295 to burn, hire her. I bet she does a great job.

So, seeing as that I'm not going to work on my blurb and Google's Search Shopping thing doesn't sound doable, that leaves me with the third item on my to-do list, which is improving my A+ content (for my Amazon book page). I stumbled across one that was well done as I was shopping for a birthday gift. It was by Dave Grohl (I think; can't find it now) and it consisted of four modules in black and white of Grohl in various poses, I think with a straight-back chair. I guess you had to be there. I'm a big fan of black and white, but it doesn't work for my novel, for which the ad copy needs to be vibrant! Anyway, there are ways to do A+ content well, and then there's my way. 

I've thought about it in the way that one thinks about something for ten seconds and calls it "pondering". I've got two or three decent AI-generated images, but I could always create more, so those are a possibility. (Keep in mind that Amazon has a few different module designs, from very basic to more expansive, with one having five blocks in which to add content.) 

I also gave some thought to keywords (SEO, you know). On my website I have kind of "poster" with Leah in the middle and lots of squiggly arrows radiating out that point to various keywords. Not sure if words on an image are readable by the algorithm or if they have to be written in text form, so that idea is iffy at best. Third, while Amazon does not allow quotes from Amazon reviews, an author can pull from editorial reviews, and one guy on the Book Marketing Academy presentation said that a two or three-word phrase from an Amazon review (without attribution), such as "Unputdownable!" (is that a word?) would likely pass muster. 

That gives me three options I could mix and match, along with the Miblart banner of my book that I'm currently using. Since I'm lacking in things to do right now, I can at least play around with the idea. 

On an aggravating note, the book blogger who publishes two separate magazine titles was so wowed by the puny article I wrote for her that she asked if she could include it in "the magazine". Since she has two different magazines, I don't know to which she was referring, but both editions are now published and as far as I know, I'm not included in either of them. And she still hasn't written my book review, which she said would be done in "October/November". I gave her two separate donations, too!

I want to be clear that this blogger is reputable. She previously reviewed Shadow Song for me, and the review was comprehensive. And maybe I'm being too impatient, but each magazine is only published quarterly, so I'm basically screwed out of timely publicity. I really hoped that if I dazzled "professionals" with my superior writing skills (meaning, I can string a couple of sentences together with proper spelling and grammar), they'd reward my brilliance, just like the woman from Reader's House, who never even bothered responding to all that material I sent her, per her request.

Whatever, I guess. Sometimes I just want to cry. 

And this is where I stand at the moment--lonely and abandoned, apparently. I do hope, though, that this very long post made up for the two days I went missing.