Writing an Author Bio with Mad Libs

You'll find many articles online that purport to give writers a roadmap for writing an author bio that's personalized and catchy, while still being weighty. 

All of these tips include touting one's professional achievements. Easy for them to say. What if you don't have any? I had a difficult time composing a bio that made me look like anything but a complete do-nothing. I had to fall back on my past music successes, meager as they are; although I am proud that lots of people on Spotify seem to enjoy at least one of my songs. That being said, I can't describe that as a literary achievement, although the songs do include "words". 

In the personal section, when an author strives to be cute, it generally comes off as lame. Funny or quirky is in the eye of the beholder. Don't ask a family member how they like that part, because they find all your anecdotes precious. Instead, walk up to a random stranger on the street and ask them to read it. If you see them slowly back away after scanning it, your humorous "fun fact" might actually be scary.

While I can certainly be lighthearted when the occasion calls for it, there really aren't many fun or interesting experiences in my past that would mean anything to an outsider. (You had to be there.) I see a couple of famous authors on talk shows from time to time who are consistently able to rattle off a tale about some encounter they had "when I was living in New York". Well, here in the suburbs, we travel by wheel, not by foot power, so I don't have encounters with anyone unless they happen to rear end me. 

I have to wonder how much readers care about an author's bio in the first place. I'm thinking, not much. Perhaps if the book is non-fiction, they want to know that the writer is bona fide, but for fiction? Any nut can write fiction; in fact, the nuttier they are, the better their book will probably be. I personally don't put any stock in awards an author has won, other than to assume the book will be dull as dirt, because we pretty much know what it takes to win awards (yawn). Genre fiction readers just want an exciting story, which is why indie books are popular with everyone except the NPR crowd. 

Alas, an author is required to have a bio, though, and mine is due for an overhaul. Its intro, about discovering books in my elementary school library, while true, isn't exactly unique. Didn't everyone, writer or not? But intros are hard. On my website I have both a "professional" bio and a more personalized one (different purposes, each). But I could probably jettison the professional one; I'm not getting many any media inquiries. Still, just in case...

Here is a good common-sense article from BookBaby. It provides great food for thought, and I'm going to use it as a reference when I rework my bio.

For now, though, I've decided to think outside the box. Thus, the Mad Libs method! It's not perfect; I grabbed the first online Mad Libs template I found, which doesn't really focus on biographies (at all), but come on! We're writers! We're "paid" to be different! 

Here are the prompts and my spur-of-the-moment answers:

noun: lamp

a type of food: hot dog

another type of food: nacho cheese dip

noun: monopoly game

verb, past tense: marched

plural noun: gym shorts

another plural noun: boulders

adjective: pretty

verb, past tense: rinsed

verb, 3rd person singular present: skips 

adjective: idiotic

plural noun: mushrooms

noun:  pillow

noun: light bulb

And the finished product: 

"April Tompkins is a lamp who was born a hot dog and now resides in Nacho Cheese Dip, Minnesota. April's favorite genre is monopoly game, although she has at times marched in gym shorts. Her boulders have been pretty rinsed on Amazon. Her most popular novel is "Skips Idiotic", which has received many mushrooms. If you'd like to learn more about April, visit her pillow and click on the light bulb." 

It's amazing how this bio really captures my essence. My boulders have been pretty rinsed on Amazon! And I'm saying that as if it's a good thing! 

I also love the "click on the light bulb" dual meaning. Clever! 

I'm not saying a Mad Libs bio will work for everyone. You, for example, might choose to take yours seriously (whatever). It also likely wouldn't be appropriate for a self-help author—depending on the topic. But I appreciate the creativity of mine; the unexpected twists.

Plus, it's short, which is another factor we're told to adhere to. It just lays out the facts, no-nonsense-wise. It includes a CTA (call to action) and provides good insight into my personality.

Really, I feel that I've stumbled onto something.