Ones and Twos (a Rant)

The story of my writing career can be told in single digits. Hence the name of this blog.

Embarking on writing fiction, I had no expectations. Well, that's not exactly true. At first I assumed I would land an agent. 🤣 But I was hopelessly naive. My go-to writer's forum at the time made it sound as if everybody found one. (Or at least that's what I read between the lines.) In hindsight, I should have waited to query agents until I was a better writer, but even then, that quest would have been nearly impossible. I now have a vague idea of what agents want, and it's definitely not the stories I'm selling. Here is an article about the 2025 trends in publishing. And you can find a statistical breakdown here. I don't write any of those things.

After my first three novels were roundly rejected, I went down the path of self-publishing, and there's no going back. I know when I'm not wanted. Plus, I don't much feel like being judged by people half my age.

It's nice to think of self-publishing as a cozy little nook, as long as a self-published author focuses on the "little" part. The fact is, despite a lot of Redditors' bragging, only 10-20% of self-published authors make a profit. And an author can easily go broke trying to make that happen. I'll be honest: I've spent a total of $631.04 on book promos for my latest novel, and about $240.00 on Facebook ads; not to mention the $259.44 I wasted on entering book contests (which I also count as marketing). In all, my attempts to sell a $2.99 book has cost me over a thousand dollars. And keep in mind, had I paid for a book cover and professional editing, my cash layout would have been astronomical (for someone in my financial circumstance). 

Guess how much Running From Herself has made in royalties so far: $64.88.

I'm a hopeless fool.

But surely I'm not the only one. If we indie authors were practical, we'd never sit down to write a novel in the first place. A novel isn't just a dream about a great story, but a dream about riches, if we're being honest with ourselves. I've lost track of the times I told myself as I was writing, "People will love this!" (and thus, people will buy it.)

Face it; with more than 2.6 million books self-published (as of 2023), what makes us think ours are anything special? They might well be special, but who's going to know? I admit that I don't read self-published books, but I'm no longer much of a reader, and I only pick up a book if it's about a topic I'm really interested in. But the second part of the equation is that I can't trust a self-published book. I dabbled for a while in some Goodreads author groups, and whenever I previewed a book an author was pushing, it was awful. Everyone now thinks he can write. "Publishing is so easy! Why not?"

The bigger question is, why? Those authors' little vanity projects are giving true writers a bad name. Sorry, but that's just true. Know how long I've been writing in one form or another? I don't want to give away my age, but suffice it to say, it's been many years. I didn't sit down yesterday and decide to become a writer. "Hey, everybody! Guess what! I'm an auto mechanic now!" These people devalue the craft of writing.

I labeled this post "Ones and Twos" because that's how my success works. I might sell one book a week, often none; I might garner two reviews a year. If I happen to get two mentions in the same week, I need to post about it, because it's such an aberration.  

This week I received one review and zero sales. I'm not atypical. 

Instinctively I know that people like us aren't going to stop, because we can't. I wouldn't be writing this post now if I could simply stop writing. The one thing I wish I could stop is obsessing over my failure. (I think that's called the fifth stage of grief ~ acceptance.)

For those indie authors who still have hope, or want to have hope, here's an uplifting article. 

Please don't spam me with comments, telling me you've sold 10,000 copies of your romance novel. I don't think my psyche could handle it.