Obviously My Blurb Is Not Working

Obviously, my blurb for Running From Herself sucks. It doesn't matter what I do ~ how many beautiful social media posts I make, how many promos I buy ~ the novel isn't selling.

It's not as if I didn't try to write an intriguing blurb. I thought its opening line, "Leah Branch just blew her record contract", at least started with a mysterious action that would make a reader want to know more. Apparently not.

Then there's the issue of trying to do too much. The blurb itself is too long. I'm in the minority regarding long versus short blurbs in the self-publishing community. I prefer short ones, but I caved to the prevailing wisdom, and I probably tried to pack too much in. Okay, she didn't want the record contract, but is that vital to the story? I mean, yes, it is, but probably not vital to getting someone to buy the book. I could have accomplished as much by simply throwing the word "reluctant" in there somewhere. Or better yet, leaving that factoid out completely. 

I don't know if my blurb would have been easier to write if the story was linear. As it's written, Leah zig-zags a lot through life. First she's in Chance, then Nashville, then Chance again, then back home in New River. But that's no excuse. I should be able to do this competently. I should be able to home in on the parts of the story that would draw someone in.

I wonder if what an author thinks her story is about isn't really what the story is about. Is that why blurbs are so hard? If I was to pick up Running From Herself and read it (unlike the rest of the world), what would my takeaways be? 

Leah goes along, because she doesn't know what else to do, and then when things get too unbearable, she flees back home. But her pride won't let her hide away forever. She needs to go back to Nashville and face the proverbial music. Then somewhere along the way, she grows a pair and starts living the life she wants to live.

Okay. How do I turn that into a blurb that's interesting? Damned if I know. All I can do is try different iterations. It's times like this when I wish that AI was helpful. But I wouldn't even know what to feed it in order for it to churn out a good blurb.

EDIT: I pasted in my current blurb and AI first reworded it; then when I asked for something more emotional, it gave me a slightly better version. The problem with AI, however, is that it pretends to convey human emotions, when in fact, it's all just the "right" words. The expected words. It does nothing to make a potential reader feel anything. It's like an eighth grade report that was copied from a Time Magazine article in the school library. (I wonder if kids still do that.)

I suppose if I didn't care about this story so much, I'd just paste one of AI's versions into the KDP box, but this novel is all me, so great or awful, the blurb needs to be all me, too. All I can do is try something different, then try something different again. 

Clearly, I have to get something going or my very last novel will fade into nothingness. I'm not ready to let that happen.