Pushing Past the Cringe

The good news is that my AI narrator has almost reached the end of my novel. Of course, this is but the first pass before the hard work begins, but it was important to get that initial read-through out of the way, so I would know how many revisions I will need to do. 

Whereas I was pleased with what I heard read back to me two days ago, yesterday wasn't quite as pleasant. It wasn't a good day for fixing, so I resorted to highlighting the passages that made me cringe.

It has occurred to me that the parts that bother me most are the ones in which I wasn't true to myself. I maybe tried to be a bit too poetic in spots, and I'm not that kind of writer. It was also clear the times when I was writing "tired". I don't think pushing through works for me. I tend to finish a scene with whatever I can come up with in a hurry, just to be done.  

My main character also falls back on a couple of things that bother me ~ she cries far too much, and she's a big hugger. Neither of those things are me, so they seem artificial. It's as if I was writing a cliched female character, one that I don't relate to, but who I seem to think female readers would identify with. Or I just didn't know how else to portray her reactions. But damn, who wants to be around someone who's constantly bursting into tears? I'm not exaggerating ~ it doesn't matter if the scene is heartwarming or heartbreaking, the MC's go-to is to break down. I can't abide this; it's going to have to be changed.

I'm also finding that the last scene (before the coda) is too packed, yet not packed enough. It's definitely filled with lots of action, but I've done a bad job depicting the overall setting. Again, I think maybe that was laziness. I'm not a believer in writing exercises, but if I would open a blank document and write down my impressions of the setting completely apart from the story, maybe my imagination would kick in. Obviously, everything is filtered through the main character's point of view, but she's too focused on her own emotions and not taking in the venue, which is too remarkable for her not to notice. But, as you know, description is not my strong suit. Even, as an example, when she boards the star's bus, she doesn't comment on what she sees. Nope, she's just intent on working her way to the back, to the star's suite. I'm terrible at using the five senses; shoot, I barely use two of them. 

Having "someone" read your novel aloud is like employing a beta reader or a critique partner, without the hassle of trying to find a real one. My novels have suffered from the absence of an objective reviewer (after publication doesn't count), and though I'm proud of my independence, I have to admit that my judgement isn't infallible. 

Now I'll need to find a way to satisfy that critic.