But It Has To Be Perfect!

I don't think I've ever read a book, closed the cover and pronounced it "perfect". Even the best books had room for improvement. And that's the cycle for writers, isn't it? Nitpicking our own work.

Some aspects of writing are worth obsessing over, but I tend to focus on the ones that aren't. All we should be aiming for in the end is a novel that's enjoyable enough for people to read all the way through.

I generally trust my own judgement regarding my writing, but that judgement only goes so far, because I'm too close to it, too personally involved. I've been burned by reviews that home in on facets of the story I never gave a second thought to. I've never received many reviews, so I can't claim to have gained any insights on my writing's overall appeal or lack of it; and I've only ever gotten one two-star review, but it had no written text accompanying it. 

From that minuscule feedback, I do know that:

1. I sometimes foreshadow too much.

2. My main characters can be either too naive or too cynical.

That's it.

With my current novel, I've worked to overcome those deficits; the first one being relatively easy to avoid, especially since I'm not working from a blueprint, so I can hardly foreshadow something that doesn't yet exist.

As for my main character's personality, that one's tougher. While I've avoided any cynicism, she is naive a lot of the time. I do think, however, that I've managed to depict growth; an eventual transformation. Her initial naivete makes sense to me in the context of the story. She's entering a world she knows nothing about, so if she's issued an order, she goes along with it. As she gains more experience, she starts to stand up for herself. Yet, no doubt there'll be criticism. Unfortunately, I can't please everyone. All I can strive for is to avoid making her personality a turnoff, so people will keep reading.

Lack of feedback is a bummer. If I know what my problems are, I can work to fix them, but as far as I know the only way to garner feedback before a novel is published is to have beta readers, which I have no idea how to acquire. Someone who's willing to read an unpublished novel AND provide feedback is rare. I'd maybe do it once, but I don't like criticizing other people's work, so I'd be a really worthless choice. It's not that I'm an "anything goes" kind of reader. In fact, I'm likely too critical, but thinking it and conveying it are two distinct concepts for me.

My current dilemma is whether to tack on a follow-up to the "big scene" or leave it as the ending. I even asked Reddit users, but opinions were all over the place, so I'm going to have to decide on my own and hope I don't guess wrong. Once the book is published, there'll be no going back. (I guess technically I could publish a revised version, but that would feel wrong.)

The sections I've had read back to me so far (via the "Read Aloud" feature in Word) sounded great! Maybe that's a red flag. I easily fall in love with my words, whereas real-life readers don't give a shit about me, naturally. They're not my mom, telling me how proud they are of me.

So I'm left with instinct and trying hard to make my story perfect; knowing it never will be.