Practicing Gratitude

 

Self-publishing is an isolating experience. Even if you have a support network, how many times will these people want to hear about your ups and downs and listen to your constant whining (or constant bragging, if you happen to hit the jackpot)?

I don't have a support network. I have this blog.

For an indie author, rejection arrives in a variety of ways--a lackluster or non-existent sales report, a bad review, being rejected by a promo site you're willing to pay, in my case three rejections from ARC site BookSirens. Running a newsletter promo and netting zero-to-two sales. Cold contacting book bloggers and getting ghosted. Social media posts completely ignored. And I'm not even a masochist! Imagine all the rejections I could rack up if I really tried!  

It's so tempting to give up. Gone are the days when I had excited anticipation about this novel. That only happens in the first couple of weeks or maybe a month after release. In that period, one can be philosophical about disappointing results. "Well, I did this part wrong. If I do it better, everything will change." "If I try different kinds of marketing, I'll surely succeed." There were so many things I'd yet to try. The possibilities were endless.

Now, almost 17 months after the fact, I have tried it all. The "good news" is, I blew my marketing wad in the first eight months or so. I have no more money to experiment with. My poverty has saved me from myself! So, when I try something, it's only as a Hail Mary. I satisfy my rebellious gene by trying for things I don't have a chance in hell of getting.

One of those, of course, was an eReader News Today Book of the Day. What got my goat was the email announcing it was taking applicants for upcoming slots, but be warned! They're extremely selective! Not every half-assed book is considered. I thought, well, I have a half-assed book, so I'm gonna just dash off an application--for fun.

Well, whaddya know! My novel was chosen! This news was discombobulating. "No, sillies! You were supposed to see my application and snicker! We'd both be in on the joke!"

I wrote yesterday about how I made a nuisance of myself with Greg from ENT. I was so afraid I'm blow my chance by not receiving the invoice and not following up that my slot would be cancelled for delinquent payment. This was, mind you, one of three messages I sent to poor Greg. But you know, Greg was nice about it! Pleasant, patient, courteous. He was hardly required to be. 

So, I'm grateful for Greg. Most of us indie authors are treated like dog poop stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe. Greg doesn't know how much I appreciated his show of...I guess, respect...but boy, did I!

Then there was the book blogger's review. Again, I submitted my book to him cold. His blog clearly states that if an author doesn't see a review within a year, it's not happening. Since I was now in a lost cause mindset, what harm would it do to submit?

I was shocked when I received a talkwalker alert about my book (that didn't involve a blog post I'd written myself). He'd reviewed it, and reviewed it positively!

I wanted to thank him, but I worried it wouldn't be kosher. Some bloggers abhor being contacted by authors. Some find it to be overstepping...or blurring the established boundaries. 

I did it anyway. Anytime anyone thanks me, it feels good. We all do so much for people that goes unacknowledged, and most of those things are taken for granted. I've even helped people out with money (that they asked for) and was met by silence. Thus, if Big Al was offended by my message, that was out of my hands.

He wasn't offended. 

"My pleasure. I wish I enjoyed every book I read as much as I did yours."  

I'm glad I thanked him. I'm grateful for Big Al (who also, by the way, cross-posted his review on both Amazon and Goodreads). 

I may not get many more opportunities to feel grateful, but when I do, I won't hesitate to express it.